Kid-isms

The kids have said several things lately that have made me laugh.

This weekend, the kids were begging for a treat from QuickTrip (they love going for slushies & picking out candy.) Henderson (2 years old) said "Not today!" followed by him also saying "That's what you always say, mom." Made me feel like a heel - although the ever-growing surplus of QT cups in our house would prove this statement is not true!

Hamilton had several questions about being "bapatized" this week. Matt and I thought he said it so cute, we'd do anything to get him to say "bap-a-tized".

Harrison was listening to the radio in the van while we were running errands. "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grench" came on the radio. At the end of the song it talks about a rotten tomato with purple moldy spots....Harrison pipes up and says, "Man, that's one bad dude!"

Santa asked Harrison if he was on his good list and his reply was, "pwolly not." Santa promptly glared at me and explained to Harrison that there was still time to get on the good list. I honestly DO NOT threaten with Santa. Much.

We were explaining why Grandma had an elf on the shelf in her house. Hamilton says "So, you expect me to believe that this elf flies to the North Pole and reports to Santa every night?" Yep. Yep I do. Just like I expect you to believe that Santa takes billions of pounds of toys all over the world on a reindeer-driven sleigh and delivers them to every girl and boy - through a chimney - in ONE night!

Harrison climbs up on the counter as I'm making cinnamon rolls and says "So, whatcha making, mah lady?" Followed by his full on Hessie grin. I melted like butta.

If they get any cuter, I'll turn into a pile of mush - I swear, I will!

Drive - Thru (Deep Thoughts by Janelle)

Henderson and I were waiting in the Walgreen's drive thru Tuesday night. There were 3 cars in each of the 2 lanes. Apparently all of the people before us had major prescription issues - we were in line for over 30 minutes.

I was starting to get impatient and fantasizing about honking and telling people that if they needed exotic drugs compounded, perhaps they should get out of the car and walk IN to the pharmacy. Much like the folks in the drive thru lane at the bank that apparently are re-financing their mortgage through the drive-thru. (Sorry, rant over.)

Then I started looking at the people in these vehicles. Everyone one of them was either sick with something or was there for a friend or family member - someone important to them - picking up a prescription. I felt the urge to pray for these cars in front of me, that God would bring a healing peace to all of these people in whatever trials they were facing that day.

I had a funny thought - one that may be worth sharing - or maybe one of those weird, embarrassing thoughts I should keep to myself (you can be the judge.)

Aren't we all ailing everyday from something. Maybe not a physical, medical thing. But medical or not, we are all in need of RX everyday, are we not? Again, maybe not a chemical, engineered RX, but a RX from our loving God. Or maybe a gentle nudge. Or maybe a stern reminder to right a wrong. Maybe a reassurance that we are good enough. Whatever that RX is, we ALL need it.

AND...aren't we lucky that we don't have to sit in a drive-thru to get it? We can stop our daily lives and talk directly to The Pharmacist through prayer, at any time of the day or night and get our RX. His pharmacy is so good, we don't even have to know our 9-digit prescription code to get a refill - He already knows it. And forget having to have your doctor fax the order & the headache of waiting days on end for the pharmacy and doctor to communicate; His fax line is always open & you'll never get a busy signal.

Soon enough, I got our refill of meds, paid & drove home feeling incredibly blessed to be loved and listened to by my Awesome God.

Photo Shoot Gone Bad

So, if you tuned in last week, you know that had a photo shoot with the kids. It was windy and cold and we had the extended family with us. A few of the older boys were uncooperative at best, and that coupled with the wind and cold demanded we do another shoot. So, we picked another venue - this time inside - where we could try it again. It was Dec. 4th folks....we are getting close to Christmas and my sisters and I desperately need these pictures for Christmas cards. I think we have a few usable shots. I've used the youth area in our church, "The Lodge", for our pictures before, and the lighting in there is ALWAYS a nightmare. But, it was warm & not windy.

We got some good shots of my sister's families.

A good one of all of us...

And of the three of us girls...

But my three boys, were.....well.....three boys...

It pretty much sums up my life. Crooked glasses. Ornery brothers. Cooperation, 50%. I'm loving every minute of it!

Why I Wake Up

These three little ornery, loud, rambunctious, sweet, smelly, imaginative, crazy human beings are the reason I get out of bed every morning. I love 'em. Even though it was too windy for a photo shoot & they didn't cooperate - I still love 'em.

Can't wait to photoshop this to take the blue out.....but I'm too tired now....another day perhaps.

They wore me out this afternoon!

Zumbaouch

Today was a Zumbathon benefiting the Pride of Owasso's upcoming trip to march in the Parade of Roses. Since I a) was a member of the Pride when I was in high school and think we have the best program in the state and possibly nation & b) love Zumba, I decided I'd go.

I'll have to say, it was a lot of fun! But.....

It's a two hour event.

I'm 36.

I'm overweight.

I'd list the aches and pains, but I'd like to get to sleep sometime tonight. Thank God for ibuprofen & husbands who rub sore feet!

Things These Kids Say

So, we've had the "crud" here this week, and the kids are all 3 on antibiotics. They've said some really funny things this week - here are a few of their gems.

I picked Hamilton up from school on Thursday. I asked how he was feeling and he said: "A little better than this morning, but my throat hurts and my imperial organs all hurt." I asked what imperial organs were, and he replied, "You know mom, the organs INSIDE of your body!" Uh....ok...internal organs....OUCH, my spleen! :)

Harrison was rambling on in the back of the van - and let me tell you, folks - he's a rambler. He said, "Mom, my trusty sidekick is working for sure!" I asked who in the heck was his trusty sidekick and quietly wondered where the heck he had heard that. He replied "My pink medicine (amoxicillan). It's already making me feel better. Yep, I love my trusty sidekick." Crazy kiddo...

My kids are always thinking of what they want for their next birthday - even if it's a year away! Today, Hamilton piped up and asked, "Mom, I REALLY want to go somewhere for my birthday." I sighed, knowing that we'd have to go to Chuck E Cheese again in April. Not my favorite venue. So, I took the bait and asked where it was. He said, "It's a really nice place. We just passed it. Waffle House." Matt and I burst into laughter. That's it, son. Reach for the stars. We may have to work on our table manners before we visit a high-falutin place like the Waffle House. Go ahead with the redneck jokes.....you know you wanna....

The baby didn't say anything hilarious today, but he doesn't have to. He's just stinkin' cute. And obsessed with belly-buttons. Nothing gets him laughing like a belly button. He's weird. I don't know where he gets it.

Moving Right Along

I've had some questions about how we all are adjusting to Harrison's Crohn's and medications.

Harrison was put on a high dosage of predisone in mid-October. It seems to be effective. His diarrhea has stopped and as far as I know, the bleeding has stopped too. The side-effect of prednisone (especially the HUGE dose he is on now) that we are experiencing now is complete, total emotional chaos. To give an example.....we can be driving down the road, listening to his choice of music, going to get his choice of lunch and all of the sudden - screaming and kicking and crazy comes from his little car seat. Once I can talk him down from the fit, he'll tell me that the sun was shining on him, or that he was wanting me to turn down a different street or something else completely crazy. I've even thought during some of his fits that he might hurt himself. I have to say that I think his body is adjusting well and I think he is getting better at controlling his outbursts for the most part. Today was an exception to that rule, but we are hoping for a better tomorrow.

We have started on the Imuran, and immuno-suppressing drug. I had such a hard time giving that to him the first few times, but I'm getting better. Right now I'm looking at it as the necessary evil to get off of the steroids. Probably this week we'll be able to start backing down off of the predisone. Once off of the steroids, we'll hopefully not have any more "flare-ups" for a while and we'll be labeled "in remission."

Once in remission it's my hope to try to avoid foods that we think might be triggering these flare-ups. I've done a lot of reading about Crohn's and talked to a few people that claim to be healed from this chronic disease. Apparently, coconut oil and milk are very healing to the intestines. I've tried sneaking coconut into several things we eat, and I don't think anyone knows. I'm learning new things (I learned today that coconut oil does not microwave well....and that was a fun mess to clean up) and learning about cooking with coconut flour. I'm very interested in holistic healing.

We traveled to Sapulpa to see a Christian healer who is able to look in your eyes and tell what is wrong with your body. I was skeptical. She looked at Harrison and the first thing she said was "My, his colon is sick." I had not even told her Harrison's name at that point! I was pretty impressed. She suggested some things that would help him and advised against giving him what the doctor had suggested to suppress his immune system.

I had a little soul-searching to do after I saw the healer. Did I follow her advice and try to heal Harrison with natural remedies, or did I follow the advice of the best pediatric gastro-interologist in the state? Because he was so sick, and so far his treatments have worked, I've decided to stick with the medical approach. That is not to say that after we are in remission for a while and he starts gaining weight and growing again, that we will not take another look at holistic healing. I HATE giving my child chemicals. I would rather believe that giving him a concentrate from okra would heal his body. But, he was so sick, and has stopped growing - and I think it's important for his body to heal as quickly as it can so the important work of growing his body can resume.

So, for now, we deal with the emotional outbursts and with the danger of him getting infections more than normal this winter - all in the hopes that his little body will grow. Will you pray with us that the medicine will work in Harrison's body, and that the possible side-effects will not be known to us?

We've had other things going on too. I'll post some pictures of Hamilton in the colorguard on Veteran's Day at his school. I was so proud of him! Henderson has a cold now, but is becoming more independant by the day.

Diagnosis: Ugh...

So, we visited with our gastroenterologist (who is terrific, by the way) and we were given the diagnosis of Crohn's disease for Harrison. I was quite shocked, as the biopsies that he had seen earlier were not showing Crohn's. We also found out that he is very anemic and that before we can continue with treatment, we have to get the iron up. We can try to do it at home, but if we are unable to get the iron up, we will have to go to the hospital to do that. It may be challenging to do it at home as he is still losing blood.

Harrison will go for a TB test tomorrow afternoon to make sure he does not have TB. If we started him on immuno-suppressant drugs and he had TB, it could prove fatal. Then we will go later in the week for another blood workup to make sure his liver and kidneys can handle the new drug we'll be trying. As early as Wednesday we can start taking prednisone to heal his ulcers. This should aid in stopping the bleeding. He'll be on a pretty high dose to start, and then we can taper him off. He may be on the steroids for a few months, since this episode is particularly bad. After the blood work comes back, the Dr. will give us a fairly hefty dose of an immuno-suppressant drug and try to put Harrison into remission. I'm told that once he's been in remission for several months, we can try to back down that drug, but he will take an immuno-suppressant drug the rest of his life.

Those are the facts. Crohn's Disease. A chronic disease. Lots of medicine. Some analyzing diet & changing that where we can. Anemia.

Now for my feelings. I am scared. More scared of the drugs than of the disease itself. Scared of the impact this will have on my precious child. His growth is not stunted at this point, but most children with this disease are mal-nourished. I want to scream and run. And, yes, I do realize it could have been worse. If I have to hear that one more time I may go nuts! I do realize that it could have been worse. But, if your child is diagnosed with a chronic, serious disease - the last thing that you want to hear is "it could have been worse."

That being said, I do see God in this. I know that to see our Dr., you must be referred, and only the most serious cases get accepted - and then you may get an appt. for sometime in about 3 -6 months. Matt and I prayed and were given an appointment in 30 minutes. While Dr. Donovan did not seem to think Harrison was that ill (because he doesn't look or act sick) he took the time to listen to us and hear our concerns. He kept assuring us he would find nothing during the testing, but felt like because of the symptoms he had to proceed with the testing. He was as shocked as we were in finding he had Crohn's, but he spent an entire hour with us making sure we understood his beginning treatment plan & what our short term goals were. He told us that it is unheard of to have a diagnosis this quickly & that his growth is normal due to the quickness of testing and diagnosis (another God intervention I believe). His hope is that he'll continue with normal growth and nutrition in about a year.

While I'm fearful for my Harrison & I'd gladly take this suffering from him in a second, I know that God is working here - all things work together for His glory. I know that He is the Father of all fathers, the Parent of all parents, and that comforts me. I'm glad that he is allowing me to mother these 3 boys, but I know they are His children. I will do everything I can on earth to protect them, take care of them & love them, but I do rest easy knowing that God answers prayers & is right with us during these trying times.

5 Years Ago....

5 years ago, I was in the hospital's "high risk" labor ward. I had been there for nearly two weeks. I had been on bed rest for a much longer time. I was going pre-eclamptic & knew I would give birth to a premature boy. The doctors were considering every day that he was in the womb a victory.



I HATED being there. I resented being there. I had a two year old and a husband I missed dearly. I could hardly see what a blessing it was to be there, and it was a blessing. What a blessing to have the medical facility and staff to make sure that my Harrison would be born as healthy as possible, and that I would not die in the process. The staff was wonderful, and my OB would actually dance hip-hop style to get me to smile. I was not a very good patient.



In a few days Harrison will turn 5. I always look back on that day and thank God I was in that hospital. I had been fine earlier in the day, but had developed a pretty bad headache. Matt and Hamilton came to visit that evening, and I tried to shake the headache. After they left, I was having blinding pain. I called the nurse to see if I could get some Tylenol and go to sleep for the night. She came in, took my vitals and immediately ran to get the OB that was on call. I was getting ready to have a stroke.



They induced labor, lowered my blood pressure & gave me an epidural (I didn't have one with my first born and I "heart" epidurals.) I was scared that I was going to have this baby at 34 weeks instead of the targeted 36. They told me he would probably survive and that "probably" scared the hell out of me! (More blood pressure medication, please!) Soon I delivered my 7lb. 4oz. baby boy. He was not breathing, and they whisked him of to the NICU nursery.



It was about an hour after delivery when I was able to see him and I was not ready for the sight. It was sobering. He was struggling to breath and had tubes and IV's everywhere. I was not able to stay long as I was still very sick & my blood pressure was not yet under control. It was one of the hardest moments of my life.



He was in the NICU for over two weeks, steadily improving every day. I sat in his little cubicle, stroking his hand and singing and talking to him. The nurses loved how he responded to my voice & I'll have to say, I did too. It was so hard. One day would be a good day, then I'd come in a few hours later and he would have had a major setback. It was the proverbial "one step forward, two steps back." About a week after he was born, I finally got to hold my Harrison. I can't even describe it. It was heaven. He soon was able to come home - after what seemed an eternity in the NICU.



He's had a few issues with asthma. He seems to have allergy or virus-induced asthma. When he's sick, we do breathing treatments to help him breathe better, but he's not officially asthmatic. We think the current digestive difficulties may be due to his prematurity, and we'll know more about that after his tests this week.



I'm scared of the tests this week. I'm sad that he'll have more poking and prodding going on - especially on his actual birthday, but I'm also aware of the miracle that he is and how he would not have survived (and I may not have either) without the wonderful care of the doctors & nurses we received early in his life. I'm going to have faith in my God, that he'll be there with my Harrison & He'll lead us to an answer and solution to Harrison's sickness through the care of these doctors and nurses.



I love you Harrison. Hessie. Hess. H2. Crankie Frankie. Happy Hess. Professor H. My 2nd little Miracle. I love you.

Donuts

Today, instead of having my normally scheduled protein & fruit for breakfast, I think I'll walk on the wild side and eat what my kids are having - donut holes! Every payday we drive thu the donut shop near our house & get everyone their own little bag. It's a big deal in this house (at least to the kids) and I feel like experiencing it.....I can't wait for Matt to walk through the door with our little bags! This weekend, I hope you are able to experience the world around you as a child would!

Just a Smidge

So, for the past 4 months we've been really overcome with poop in this house! Harrison, our middle child, has been having lots and lots of it. Tons. Literally. There's something going on in there, we just don't know what it is. We've been to countless Dr.'s appointments and done countless tests. We are preparing for a colonoscopy and EGD on his birthday next week. We are tired of this poop - and none more tired than Harrison!

We went yesterday for a blood draw to find out if he has Celiac Disease and also to mark how anemic he is now. I didn't sleep the night before. With any other child, I probably would have snoozed until the alarm went off, but not with Harrison. He's....well....spirited. Yes, spirited. That's what we'll call it. And loud. Very loud. The boy's got a good set of lungs on him!

Needless to say, I didn't tell the poor little guy we were going to the doctor until we were en route. I let him know we were going to see the gastroenterologist. He immediately asked if he'd have to get "poked" (that's what the child psychologists say we should call a shot these days...it sounds less threatening, but hurts the same....whatever.....). I answered that he would be getting a poke, and then he gave his lungs a good exercise. He had settled down by the time we got to the doctor, and did pretty darn well until the lab tech called his name.

We entered the lab room and he asked if it was going to hurt. The lab tech, who seemed about 15 years old, answered, "Uh, yeah....but not bad." (Thanks, Cyndi, lab tech girl. Really appreciate that.) He began to wail. I talked to him and told him it would hurt less if he was still like a statue, and it would only pinch for one second. Then we started timing seconds. He thought it might be bearable. The poke came and he yelped for a minute until it was all done, then picked his sticker out and we were on our way!

On the way out, we sat on a bench to catch our breaths and so I could give him a big hug. I told him that he was very brave. He furrowed his little brow and said, "No, not really mom. But maybe just a smidge." What a trooper. I've laughed about that ever since. I love his sincere honesty.

I'm praying we will find out what is bothering his little tummy with the upcoming tests. I'm scared, and I know he will be too, but maybe I can be very brave.....or even just a smidge.

My Mom, My Friend

I visited with my mom today, as I do almost every day. She was having a hard day today. Her mom passed away in June. I don't know how to help her, and I dearly wish I could.


Mom's family has always been matriarchal. This stems back to her great-grandmother, and continues today with my sisters and I. It's just the way the women in this family are. My sisters and I are the same, and if I had a daughter, it's probably how she would be too. Along with being strong women, the women in our family are also best friends - so when my grandmother passed away, it left quite a hole.


I struggle with this because mom misses her best friend. And, I naturally want to help since seeing her hurt is painful for me. I would love to fill that hole, but I simply cannot. I don't have the history, I don't know about the "good ol' days", and I'm in a different place in life. Where she's quilting and camping with dad - I'm still potty training and packing school lunches.


I do see where she's coming from though. I look at her loss & put myself in her place. It would be like me losing her, and that thought is unbearable. I have great empathy for her.

I'm unsure of what to do. I suggested some groups at church that have women her age in them, but I think she is scared to start something new. I know that time will help. For now, I'll just continue listening and be her daughter & friend. I just wish I could take her pain away.

Sweet Spot

With fall comes a new bible study and this season we are studying "Cure to the Common Life" by Max Lucado. I think it's going to be a great study.

The first chapter talked about finding that "sweet spot" in your life. The spot where you are gifted, where God intends for you to be, where you are comfortable and effective. Some of us are so busy fitting into so many roles, I don't think we really know or remember what our sweet spots are. I know this is true for me.

He talks about how a room full of preschoolers can be a noisy, chaotic mess. But, to God, it is a masterpiece in the making. Every child is working in his/her sweet spot. Some might be painting, some may be building, some may be nurturing a baby, some may be tapping rhythms on a drum and some may be "acting out" to gain attention. Every preschooler in the room is performing in their sweet spot & pleasing to God - even the one "acting out."

I see this daily with my little guys. I watch as Hamilton problem solves with his intricate buildings and know that one of his gifts is problem solving and thinking outside of the box. I know that Harrison is a "feeler" and is very aware of the emotions and happenings of the world around him. Even though Harrison is vocal (wow - does that boy's voice carry!) and is viewed by some to be "too loud", I know that what now might seem "acting out" could be a valuable trait for a leader in the adult world. And I know that Henderson is an entertainer. He loves making people smile and talking with people - he's never met a stranger.

It occurred to me while reading this bible study that while I relate almost everything to my children, I am God's child. I sometimes forget that. I imagined him looking over me in several things I'm trying (leading a bible study, cooking more elaborate meals, sewing more...) . It gave me chills to think of my Father God looking at me through the parent eyes I see my children through.

He gave me the gift of music. It's a God-given talent I have. I've put it away for the past 10 years. In fact, while it used to be my only identity, now most of the people in my life have no idea I possess this gift. I think it's time I stop hiding this gift or "sweet spot" and start sharing it. I'm looking forward to digging into this bible study and discovering my other "sweet spots" and maybe help someone else find theirs too.

Not Much to Say

I don't really have anything meaningful to write about, but decided I need to keep up with the blog more regularly. So, apologies in advance for boring you to tears!

Hamilton started the Second Grade this year. He is attending public schools after much soul-searching & crying on my part. He decided he likes his friends. I decided I lack patience. We'll see how it goes....we can always home school later if we want to. He's doing really well, by the way! He has also started cub-scouts, so give me a shout if you'd like some popcorn, we're selling it to support our pack!

Harrison had his first day of Yellow Balloon Preschool today. What a blessing this program & these teachers are! All of the children bloom in this program! Harrison has become so much more open and trusting of other people. I love this school, and think they should teach my kids through high school. (As adorable as my kiddos are though, they have declined.)

Henderson is potty trained. I can't believe it! I was ready for a tough time (like I had with my dear, sweet Harrison) but I was entirely surprised! He announced one day he pee-pee'd in the potty & then later that day he announced he poo-poo'd in the potty. Easy as that. A gift from God, nothing less. 100% angel this one???? Maybe not. He's exerting his will & temper daily now & lives to argue with his brothers. Ahhhh.........the terrible two's. Ugh.

Matt and I are working on our front flowerbeds. They are the eyesore of the neighborhood. Our lawn is the best on the block, but with weeds in the flowerbeds higher than prairie-grass, it sure is an eyesore! We are almost done weeding and are almost done mulching. We are going to plant a Dogwood tree and another shrub to complete the hedge in the front. I'll post pictures later. Our house is so plain, so anything to add a little pizazz with do wonders. I always have elaborate plans for the spring. I was going to plant tons of crepe's & plant thousands of bulbs...but I always get busy & spend my money on other things...like...oh yeah...my kids!

Growing up, and Letting Go

So...I hate to be a downer, but I've got to write about this experience I'm going through.

I believe that nothing "grows you up" faster than giving birth with the exception of watching someone die.

My grandmother, Gracie, is in the "active death" part of her life. I have to tell you - I hate that term "actively dying".

I'll start by giving you a little history.

Gracie has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1970. She has been completely crippled by the disease. She's had multiple surgeries and cutting-edge joint replacement appliances put in her wrists and hands. She is an artist, and has amazed everyone with how her crippled hands can create such beauty. She has osteo-perosis and and steadily shrunk in size since I can remember. She has COPD. She smoked most of her adult life.

More than any of her illnesses though, she was a role model. A role model of how to be independent, of how to be a strong woman, of how to face adversity head-on, and on how to dream. Our family has a history of being matriarchal. She carried that torch successfully....we are all strong women.

She has lived with my mom and dad for over 4 years, and that entire time been under hospice care. Yes, I said 4 YEARS. While I'd love to say that the four years she was living with mom and dad was easy, I can't really lie. There was daily bickering - the food wasn't good, or people in the house were too loud - anything and everything. Mom and Gracie bickered all the time. Sometimes the negativity was hard to handle.

I never understood how mom could handle this. I was angry that she would handle it. I mean, sometimes it seemed as if Gracie had stolen my mom away from me. There wasn't enough of her to go around. She could take care of Gracie and that was all the energy she had. And, often, my sisters and I were over there giving mom a break. We took specific nights of the week - sometimes several nights a piece and that all took a toll on our families also. This past 4 years has been rough on all 16 of us (mom, dad, Gracie, the three of us girls and our families).

Mom could never put Gracie in a nursing home. Sometimes we blamed her. Once, we took her to a very nice nursing home in the morning and by 4:00 in the afternoon, we had picked her up and brought her back home. After being so strong and independent and nurturing us, we could not stomach the thought of her being alone in a nursing home.

And, here we are. She is dying. At mom and dads house. It has been such a long road. She is not in pain. She sleeps most of the time and her breaths are getting more shallow by the hour. My sisters and I are taking shifts to stay with mom and help make sure Gracie gets her medicine on time so she'll be comfortable. This is hard to watch. Hard. To. Watch.

I'm in charge of the after-death arrangements. Not sure how I got that job, but I will do whatever mom needs me to. I'll stay busy. I'll cry some when I'm alone. I'll give her pills or pain patches & turn her in bed. I'll sing hymns to her. Whatever helps mom or Gracie.

After all the struggle, after all the years, after all the arrangements, something occurred to me today. I was thinking about how beautiful it was when God blessed me with each of my boys. I remember each one of their first breaths, their first cries, and marveled at their perfection. I remember thanking God for the perfection he had trusted to me! It occurred to me that it's such a blessing to be a part of sending my Gracie to heaven, for a more-perfect-than-birth body. To be a part of ending someones struggle and knowing that they'll soon see the face of God. And, it helps me to think of death (just as birth) as being close to God. This time is precious.

I love her and will miss her.

At 35, I still hate these "growing up" lessons - just like I did at 5.

The View From My Perch

So, I work at church in the Audio/Video perch (or balcony.) I sit upstairs for almost every church service or special event that happens in our church. I have the best view of the choir, the "Littlest Lambs" children's choir, and the back of every one's head. I'm usually concentrating on where we are in the service, how our video ministry can emphasize our Pastor's message, watching the live webcast for any prayer requests that come through, yada yada. Working.

But...last Sunday, 02-28-10 something very special caught my eye. A handsome man with two cute little boys, about the ages of 7 and 4 (both with glasses) walked in and sat in the front of the sanctuary. They weren't there at the beginning of the service, but came in as the sermon was getting started. From the time I saw them walk in, I was oblivious to my job duties. I tried to concentrate, but couldn't stop watching this man with these two boys. Yes, this was Matt with Hamilton and Harrison.

You see, Harrison, 4, has never been in Big Church as we call it. He is usually in the nursery with the other "babies". He has recently not been wanting to go to the nursery, but he is still hesitant to come to Big Church. And, we really haven't pushed him since Matt basically has to sit down there with them by himself (and Hessie, Harrison, is a VERY strong willed, LOUD child.) But, this was the Sunday for change.

Watching them sit and listen to the scripture reading, I was amazed. I mean, it had been a whole 4 minutes without an outburst. (Never mind that the scripture reading that day was a movie clip from "The Gospel of John") Still, I was amazed. Then Pastor Tiger started his sermon, and Harrison started wriggling around, playing peek-a-boo with a grown man in the row behind him (thanks, Kyle.) Hessie was starting to fidget a little too much, so Matt scooped him up and left.

That left Hamilton sitting alone. Hamilton looked back at Matt to see if he had to go with them, but decided better of it. He turned, looked at Pastor Tiger, crossed his legs and sat still for the rest of the sermon!!! People from several rows back were commenting about how big Hamilton was. I have to admit, I wanted to scream "Hey- that's my kid - still 6 - LISTENING to the sermon!", but I didn't.

Soon, Matt brought Harrison back in. Harrison told Matt (audible from upstairs, but not a yell) that he didn't want to sit next to Matt, he wanted to sit next to Hamilton. Hamilton opened up his arms and helped Hessie climb over to sit on the other side of him. Then Hamilton put his arm over on Harrison and patted his shoulder. Harrison did the same with Hamilton. Let me just say - NO ONE on that side of the sanctuary knew what Pastor Tiger was saying after that. I watched them chatter about how precious these two little boys were, and watched their heads turn to watch what they were going to do next.

They were just two little boys, brothers, being best friends and trying to keep each other out of trouble. And, they are my little gifts from heaven (no matter how loud they are!) It was, the best sermon this mom has heard in a long time.

Life, blessed

Saturday 01-30-10 I had a moment. One of those moments where time stands still and God's grace seems to be in everything you see, touch, hear and feel. Those moments are few and far between in our busy lives, but on this snowy Saturday afternoon, I drank it in.

Snow fell all day the day before and we had a good 7 inches on the ground. The sun was out, and so were we - all five of us - playing in the snow. The kids were taking it all in, from the way the snow tasted, the way it crunched beneath their shoes, the way it glittered in the sunlight and the way icicles had formed on their playhouse. It was magical. Matt always calls snow magic...and I think he's right.

I came inside to start the hot chocolate that I knew would soon be needed and to get lunch started. As I was chopping the vegetables for our soup that afternoon I realized how blessed we were. I teared up, not because I was chopping an onion, but because of our grace-filled, abundant life. I mean, here I stood watching the most handsome, wonderful man in the world discover the snow with my three sons....helping them discover and find magic in our very own backyard. And, all while I'm in my warm house, furnished with comfortable furniture, chopping fresh produce that I can buy at any grocery store at any time I want to.

The kids came in soon and put dry, warm clothes on, sipped on their hot chocolate and talked about their experience outside. They were anxious for lunch and glad to be warming up. I felt so blessed to have them in this moment, listening to their chatter & giggles. I didn't even mind the extra load of laundry this "discovery" had made, and I didn't mind the mud that Spooky, our dog tracked in.

I won't soon forget those few moments that Saturday. And, I hope that I have more moments where I am in awe of the blessed life that I live.