5 years ago, I was in the hospital's "high risk" labor ward. I had been there for nearly two weeks. I had been on bed rest for a much longer time. I was going pre-eclamptic & knew I would give birth to a premature boy. The doctors were considering every day that he was in the womb a victory.
I HATED being there. I resented being there. I had a two year old and a husband I missed dearly. I could hardly see what a blessing it was to be there, and it was a blessing. What a blessing to have the medical facility and staff to make sure that my Harrison would be born as healthy as possible, and that I would not die in the process. The staff was wonderful, and my OB would actually dance hip-hop style to get me to smile. I was not a very good patient.
In a few days Harrison will turn 5. I always look back on that day and thank God I was in that hospital. I had been fine earlier in the day, but had developed a pretty bad headache. Matt and Hamilton came to visit that evening, and I tried to shake the headache. After they left, I was having blinding pain. I called the nurse to see if I could get some Tylenol and go to sleep for the night. She came in, took my vitals and immediately ran to get the OB that was on call. I was getting ready to have a stroke.
They induced labor, lowered my blood pressure & gave me an epidural (I didn't have one with my first born and I "heart" epidurals.) I was scared that I was going to have this baby at 34 weeks instead of the targeted 36. They told me he would probably survive and that "probably" scared the hell out of me! (More blood pressure medication, please!) Soon I delivered my 7lb. 4oz. baby boy. He was not breathing, and they whisked him of to the NICU nursery.
It was about an hour after delivery when I was able to see him and I was not ready for the sight. It was sobering. He was struggling to breath and had tubes and IV's everywhere. I was not able to stay long as I was still very sick & my blood pressure was not yet under control. It was one of the hardest moments of my life.
He was in the NICU for over two weeks, steadily improving every day. I sat in his little cubicle, stroking his hand and singing and talking to him. The nurses loved how he responded to my voice & I'll have to say, I did too. It was so hard. One day would be a good day, then I'd come in a few hours later and he would have had a major setback. It was the proverbial "one step forward, two steps back." About a week after he was born, I finally got to hold my Harrison. I can't even describe it. It was heaven. He soon was able to come home - after what seemed an eternity in the NICU.
He's had a few issues with asthma. He seems to have allergy or virus-induced asthma. When he's sick, we do breathing treatments to help him breathe better, but he's not officially asthmatic. We think the current digestive difficulties may be due to his prematurity, and we'll know more about that after his tests this week.
I'm scared of the tests this week. I'm sad that he'll have more poking and prodding going on - especially on his actual birthday, but I'm also aware of the miracle that he is and how he would not have survived (and I may not have either) without the wonderful care of the doctors & nurses we received early in his life. I'm going to have faith in my God, that he'll be there with my Harrison & He'll lead us to an answer and solution to Harrison's sickness through the care of these doctors and nurses.
I love you Harrison. Hessie. Hess. H2. Crankie Frankie. Happy Hess. Professor H. My 2nd little Miracle. I love you.
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