My Mom, My Friend

I visited with my mom today, as I do almost every day. She was having a hard day today. Her mom passed away in June. I don't know how to help her, and I dearly wish I could.


Mom's family has always been matriarchal. This stems back to her great-grandmother, and continues today with my sisters and I. It's just the way the women in this family are. My sisters and I are the same, and if I had a daughter, it's probably how she would be too. Along with being strong women, the women in our family are also best friends - so when my grandmother passed away, it left quite a hole.


I struggle with this because mom misses her best friend. And, I naturally want to help since seeing her hurt is painful for me. I would love to fill that hole, but I simply cannot. I don't have the history, I don't know about the "good ol' days", and I'm in a different place in life. Where she's quilting and camping with dad - I'm still potty training and packing school lunches.


I do see where she's coming from though. I look at her loss & put myself in her place. It would be like me losing her, and that thought is unbearable. I have great empathy for her.

I'm unsure of what to do. I suggested some groups at church that have women her age in them, but I think she is scared to start something new. I know that time will help. For now, I'll just continue listening and be her daughter & friend. I just wish I could take her pain away.